Questions & Answers
What’s this about?
This is a limited blog about me moving from Los Angeles to Leeds.
It will have 10 entries only and will be considered complete once the transition is done. I want to talk about what I intend to be my last move in a while. Once I’ve settled into my 9th life… I just want to live it on my own for a while. I’m not entirely sure what portion of my move those 10 entries are going to cover, but it ends where it ends.
It might also end up being somewhat of a „mini-manifesto“ on the perks of choosing your own home country these days and to rethink the „us against them“ mentality some individuals still hold altogether regarding nationality. I’m saying „mini“ because I am not ultimately here to „lecture“ or even to make a coherent point on any of my slightly more elaborate thoughts on the matter, but since I do feel very strongly about the themes of connection vs separation some undertones might slip through.
Who am I?
I am a German film producer, (drunk) actress and I am a writer.
I’ve more or less lived in four different countries so far (if I include the two months I spent in Tokyo.)
Why leave LA?
Because my heart isn’t at home there. It felt like my duty as a filmmaker to go there and it is a great place flowing with energy and beautiful sunshine that I will revisit many many times. But it’s not where I want to die. America was my teenage infatuation, but now that I’ve grown up (a little bit – not an awful lot, but still) my priorities have simply changed. I love you, LA and all the beautiful angels in it, but you just don’t offer the stability that I now am looking for.
Why the fuck Leeds? (question phrased the way most people ask when they hear about my move)
Mature answer: Because it offers everything that I want in a permanent home.
Authentic answer: Because one early morning after a night agonising over jetlag the thought just randomly popped into my mind… and has stuck ever since and now I can’t help but smile every time I think of it. It’s an illogical choice that was later backed by logical reasons the more I looked into the object of my newfound puppylove.
Who is this for?
Probably mostly people who know me and actually give a damn (because my friends are more empathetic than Rhett Butler, even though I can be a bit of a Scarlett from time to time)
Besides that, anyone who is interested in any of the thoughts I’m sharing is obviously very welcome to tag along for the ride!
Why Yorkshire-Yankee if I’m neither English nor American?
First of all I am NOT using „Yankee“ as a) a way to identify with outdated philosophies that were popular during civil war times or b) an insult to Americans.
In a way this word perfectly represents the connection I do have, or maybe used to have, with America – outdated, but resonating with something nostalgic I once felt pride and a sense of belonging to. I am a huge fan of „Gone With the Wind“ (and always will be, no matter what politics make of it nowadays). In fact movies like GWTW were what made me fall in love with America so deeply in the first place. There is just not a lot of reality left of those United States that I once loved or if there is, then the 21st century undercurrent that now poisons any romanticised thought of that „old America“ has turned it sour… Maybe that thought is unjustified, but the great country I truly, deeply loved really is no more and maybe never existed as such in the first place. What still is there is my own personal history with it. Without this connection, this obsession at times, this identification, this deep love I would not be who I am today. American culture has shaped me a great deal – much more than German culture by the way. So, just for the purpose of this blog I am choosing this label, because it fits. Without ever having been an American citizen – I was an American patriot alright. I used to fight against every accusation thrown at the USA by fellow Europeans. I guess I’ve just grown tired of fighting at all. And I’ve realised a good while ago that opposition never solves anything anyway. So here I am – surrendering. To a more peaceful adventure from here on.
…and why Yorkshire? Well. That’s my new home. Seems appropriate.
What do I have to say to people who are offended by what I write?
I mean no harm to anyone. I genuinely wish for everyone to live a happy and fulfilled life and the opportunity to joyfully achieve all their personal goals. Any offense you take in what I say you may keep, since it doesn’t belong to me and doesn’t come from me either. I’m just living my life according to my values and am sharing my experience through my eyes. I make no judgement on anything or anyone that claims to be anything but personal. I kindly ask the same of you. I’m a sensitive human being (like everyone else).